How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
