New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
