Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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