I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
