Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize