thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
