How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
