oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
