he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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