I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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