I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
