so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
