i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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