It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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