Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
