you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
