When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize