But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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