wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Randomize