My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
