i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
