Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
