You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
