I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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