Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize