You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
