I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
