Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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