We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My vagina is officially offended.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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