sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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