it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
