Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize