I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
