You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
