A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
