thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
