You can't special order awesome
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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