8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
