I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
