Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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