Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
