if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
ttyl tear gas
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
