After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
