There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
