Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Everclear isn't food dammit
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
