Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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