She is in my trunk
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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