remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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