My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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