I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
