i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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