let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
