it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All the doctor said was why
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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