Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
