She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
