i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
