I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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