Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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