I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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