I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
