the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
