Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize